caution: human being ~ we all have a story to tell

I’m making a conscious effort not to get bogged down in negative thoughts and to notice all the good things. I’m starting to notice all the ways different people around me are making this effort too.

Humorously, comedian Louis CK tell Conan how much we take for granted:

The Weepies sing about being simply overwhelmed with Beauty:

My favorite lyrics:

“All this beauty;
You might have to close your eyes
And slowly open wide
All this beauty;
We traveled all night
We drank the ocean dry
And watched the sun rise.

I can see you’re new, awake
Let me assure you, friend
Every day is ice cream and chocolate cake
And what you make of it
Let me just say
You get what you take
From it, so be amazed…”

And then, I keep stumbling across this concept of “First World Problems”. I’ve been noticing that all of my problems are first world problems, and somehow that makes them seem more manageable and less dire. Work doesn’t stress me out as much when I remember to be thankful that I have a job, that I have a paycheck, that I can pay my rent and buy groceries and pay my utilities, that I have a car at all, that I have internet access, that I’m surrounded by dear friends who are rarely more than a phone call, a text message, an IM, or a Facebook poke away.

So that’s my message for today – start looking around you at everything that is beautiful and amazing. Or else you might miss it.

My grandmother was famous for her date bars. They had a yummy crust, sticky date filling and streusel topping. She brought them everywhere she was invited – to family reunions, Thanksgiving dinner, summer picnics, church get-togethers. They were delicious. People would even request them when they invited her. “We’re having a picnic at the lake on Sunday. Will you bring your date bars?”

She never gave anyone the recipe. It was her secret. No amount of begging, pleading or cajoling could get her to even hint at the ingredients or the temperature of the oven.

Sadly, several years ago, she passed away from cancer. She is sorely missed by everyone in my family.

While cleaning out my grandmother’s home, my mom opened a bottom corner cabinet, and hidden in the back were dozens of boxes of Betty Crocker date bar mix. My stepdad was in another room, cleaning. My mom said nothing, and packed the date bar mixes into a box, labeled it something else and took them home with her.

She waited until my stepdad was out to make a trial batch of date bars. As soon as they came out of the oven, she tasted one, and sure enough – these were my grandma’s famous date bars! She cut them up, arranged them on a plate, and left them out for my stepdad to find. He was so happy when he came home. “You found my mother’s recipe!”

He ate them all up. My mom would occasionally pull out one of the boxes and make it, but she never told my stepdad the real secret of the date bars.

Betty Crocker has since discontinued the date bar mix. I have no idea how my mom has explained that one.

Some time ago, the wise Rob Brezsny wrote this in my horoscope:

For many Aries, independence is a virtue that flows in abundance — so much so that it’s sometimes on the verge of becoming excessive and turning into a vice. That’s why I’m thrilled to inform you that the mysteries of dependence could be especially
intriguing and useful to you in the coming days. They might also lead, paradoxically, to a form of interdependence that would in the long run nourish your independence. So how about it? Without compromising your free-wheeling spirit, can you blend yourself more thoroughly with trustworthy souls who care about you?

Can I?

I suppose that like all opposites in life, the ideal situation with independence and dependence is a careful balance – the middle line, some of both, each in moderation.

I am, in fact, abundantly independent, and probably well past the “verge of becoming” excessively so. I neither expect nor want anyone to do anything for me. And that’s fine  – for me – most of the time.

The problem is the people in my life who enjoy doing things for others – it gives them joy and satisfaction to know that they’ve made someone else’s day a little brighter or easier. I should know – ironically, I’m one of them. I know how it feels to have your gestures and efforts rejected, or to be told that they’re unnecessary.

It hurts.

So I am practicing being dependent without loosing my independence. I’m practicing relying on others and trusting others. It’s difficult and I make a lot of mistakes – everything about dependence goes against the grain, against a lifetime of lessons that taught me to be so fiercely and stubbornly independent. But slowly, I am learning to soften, to open, to let in the love.

I don’t mean for this to become a video blog, but here’s another amazing video I stumbled across. 3000 photos and it’s beautiful.

And it goes a long way toward explaining how my covers and pillows are all over the place when I wake up. I’ve always wondered, “what happens while I’m sleeping anyway?”

And don’t tell anybody else they can’t, either.

Isn’t it funny how you always seem to stumble on the right tools right when you’re ready to use them? Today I accidentally came across The Mindset Game:

Does watching shows like The Apprentice and The Amazing Race make you wish you could be on those shows, achieving the unimaginable? It seems that each contestant learns more about themselves in that short experience than they have in their entire lives. The MindSet Game will give you the same opportunity to learn about yourself and will challenge you to take the first step to achieve your dreams.

I love the idea and I’m excited to get started. There’s a weekly challenge or task for you to complete. Two have been posted so far, so it’s definitely not too late to get started and get caught up. Plus, how cute is it that there’s a downloadable score card?

I’ve been thinking about the first weeks’ challenge all day:

If you could only accomplish one thing professionally, what would it be? When would you want to achieve it?

And while there is a long list of things I want to accomplish, both personally and professionally, there is one that definitely stands out and makes me feel really excited. I haven’t even done the exercise and written it out yet, and I’ve already started making more concrete plans and taking steps to bring that particular goal to fruition.

Play along with me! It’s sure to be a great challenge.

At this time of year, there’s something appealing about looking back over the next year, measuring it, weighing it, and putting it in a neat little package to set aside and get ready for the new year.

When I was little, I used to have this idea in my head of the ‘old’ year was crumbling and old, waiting to be replaced by the shiny glossy new year at midnight on New Years’ Eve.

It’s useful for us to put time in little packages. To measure it. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years. But time isn’t really like that – it just keeps flowing. Life isn’t like that either. Much messier. Harder to measure, weigh and package.

But what is useful is pausing from time to time to take a look at where we’re going, where we’ve been, lessons we’ve learned and plans we want to make. Clichéd as it seems, it’s useful to pause and reflect, then prepare for what’s ahead. And the start of a new year on some arbitrary human calendar is just as good an excuse as any.

I have a notebook that was given to me as a gift several years ago, a really nice one. With a padded cover, cloth binding, creamy lined pages, and a satin ribbon bookmark sewn in. I’ve become convinced that it’s a magic notebook. At the start of 2002, feeling trapped and desperately unhappy with many different areas of my life, I took it off the shelf, and wrote down a list of things to accomplish to better my situation. I wrote a little essay about each item. I tracked my progress toward each of the goals for a couple of months. Then I forgot about the notebook. But I didn’t forget the goals. I kept working.

At the start of 2003, I pulled it off the shelf again. I reviewed the old goals – some of them accomplished, others not. I took stock again. I set my intention for the coming year.

My notebook became a regular habit. At the turn of a new year, I pull it out, review the goals I set the previous year, and set my goals for the coming year. And magically, the goals are accomplished. Not always in the first year they were set down in writing, but they are accomplished. It feels good. At some point, it started to feel like magic. Thus it became known as the magic notebook.

It’s that time of year again to pull out the magic notebook, review the previous year, and set my goals for the year ahead. I invite you to join me. The magic lies in setting your intention, asking for what you want and trusting that you’ll receive.

I know it’s getting to be pretty close to Christmas, but I just found out something that sounds really fun.

Each December, the USPS received hundreds and hundreds of letters addressed to Santa at the North Pole from hopeful little children. This I’ve always known. But I had no idea that you could contact your local post office and volunteer to answer the letters!

Contact your local postmaster to ask how he or she runs the program at your post office, but you can either just write back to the children as Santa or you can find letters from less fortunate children and send gifts to fulfill their Christmas wishes.

There’s something really appealing about this to me. I remember the fragile hopefulness I had as a child when I wrote my letter to Santa each December telling him how good I had been and making my requests for Lite Brites, Spirographs and Easy Bake Ovens. It would have been simply magical if that letter had been answered.

More information:Answering letters to Santa from the USPS